I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
