Don't you send me to vm
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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