ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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