I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
