I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
