That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
