she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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