My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
