I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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