Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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