Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
