but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.