I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.