I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed