SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
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You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10