absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize