God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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