Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Too much gin, very little bucket
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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