"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
this is an emotional support booty call
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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