I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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