last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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