Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
