She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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