i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
