i love accidental penises.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We just shotgunned beers for America
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
