I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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