..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
