No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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