I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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