I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize