@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
