worst night to have a conscience
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
