I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
