I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize