She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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