help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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