Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i was born a porn star she said
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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