and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It all started with a game of naked twister.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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