I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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