when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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