I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
