Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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