that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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