What a fucking waste of an outfit
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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