I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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