i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
