just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
