I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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