Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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