yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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