Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
