The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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