Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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