Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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