Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We smell like vodka and hangover
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