Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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