We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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