and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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