i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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