Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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