Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
