FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
