YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
