nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
