That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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